Truth be told, I’ve thought that it’s not worth saying anything against Fifty Shades. Most people have made up their minds. You’re going to watch it and this blog-post isn’t going to change a thing.
And yet those who say nothing will be held accountable for the sins of others. (That’s Ezekiel 3:18, for those keeping track of such things.) And pastors who say nothing? Even more so. (James 3:1) Thus, I’m going to say it: Don’t see Fifty Shades of Grey. Choose something else – something better, something more salutary for your soul, more beautiful and satisfying to your mind.
Say “no” to Fifty Shades. Why? There are many reasons, but here are two of my own:
1. It is bad art. Yep, that’s right: Fifty Shades of Grey is just a flat-out poor attempt at artwork. Truly artistic books and movies tell a story that needs to be told. They lend insight into the human condition and treat creatively our struggles, joys, and passions.
Fifty Shades does none of this. Somehow I doubt that anyone involved in the production of the movie ever said, “Wow, this is a story that really needs to be told!” Nope, there is nothing truly artistic or insightful about the story told by E.L. James. It would’ve been better left untold, rotting in the impoverished imagination of a bad writer. Which brings me to my next point…
Anyone who appreciates good literature would probably cringe at the writing in Fifty Shades of Grey. Allow me to quote a few lines to demonstrate its artistic poverty:
“Finally, my medulla oblongata recalls its purpose, I breathe.” (Anyone else think this line was stolen from Adam Sandler in The Waterboy?)
“My scalp prickles as adrenaline and fury lance through my body, all my worst fears realized.”
“My inner goddess is beside herself, hopping from foot to foot.”
You can’t make this stuff up, folks. This is truly stupid material, not worthy to be called art and definitely not worth two hours of time and $9.25 for admission. Reason #1 I will not be seeing Fifty Shades of Grey: It is simply bad art.
2. It is an ugly story. I almost wrote “a sinful story,” but most people have a definition of sin that does not do justice to the ugliness of sin. Thus, I’m sticking with ugly. Fifty Shades of Grey is a very ugly story.
How so? Let me count the ways. First, say hello to your main character, Christian Grey. He is foppish, self-infatuated, and emotionally immature. He likes to lure weak-willed, equally immature women into sexual exploitation. Enter Anastasia Steele. This young woman, a virgin when she meets Grey, is demeaned and objectified. That is, she is turned into a mere object for Christian Grey’s sexual gratification. Somehow she finds this thrilling.
In Fifty Shades, true intimacy is reduced to bodily intimacy, and love is reduced to lust. What about self-sacrifice? Gone. Self-giving? Only in the most crass sense. Lifelong commitment to the well-being of another? Apparently we’ve evolved beyond such antiquated things.
Fifty Shades portrays an ugly relationship. It is ugly not primarily because of what it has, but because of what it lacks. The truly beautiful relationship contains intimacy not just of body, but also of mind and soul. It entails lifelong faithfulness, self-sacrifice for the sake of love, and a deep willingness to bear the sins, the struggles, and the shortcomings of another.
All of that is to say, the truly beautiful relationship between a man and a woman reflects the relationship between Jesus Christ and his bride, the Church. That is the true and eternal standard of beauty, a standard of which Fifty Shades (and much of our post-modern American culture) seems quite ignorant.
Contrast Christian Grey with Jesus Christ: Grey was a rich man who wanted more; Christ was a far richer man who emptied himself for others. Grey wanted to take; Christ wanted to give. Grey wanted to exploit as many women as possible; Christ, to be faithful to his one bride, the Church. Grey wanted to put on chains; Christ, to take them off. They both required submission, but submission to Christian Grey enslaved, while submission to Jesus Christ set free.
The two could not be more different, and only one of these characters is beautiful. Only one is worthy of admiration and imitation. Christian Grey is not it. Fifty Shades is an ugly story, pretending to be “hot” and “sexy” when in fact it degrades true femininity and bastardizes true masculinity.
Final Word
With all of that said, it’s worth mentioning another movie premiering this weekend as an alternative to the stupidity and ugliness of Fifty Shades. It is titled Old Fashioned and its trailer can be seen here: Old Fashioned.
Have a blessed Valentine’s Day. Celebrate marriage; celebrate true love; celebrate all that is good and beautiful. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” – Romans 12:2
