A judgmental attitude is a surefire way to make life miserable. Before noting a few ways to cultivate a judgmental mindset (and thereby become increasingly miserable), it’s worth saying what being judgmental is not.
Namely, it is not judgmental to know that some things are sinful, nor is it judgmental to tell someone they’re sinning. Indeed, one can be very discriminating between that which is good and that which is evil, and one can also speak to others about good and evil, all with great love in his heart.
What makes someone judgmental is not the ability to discern
right from wrong, but the desire to hate and damn others. A judgmental spirit
is one that perversely enjoys the sins of others, if only because the sins of
others give one the opportunity to prosecute others, as if life is one big courtroom.
(Never mind that “Satan” literally means “accuser,” and hence those who want to
accuse and condemn people are thereby joining the ranks of Satan.)
So that is what it means to be judgmental, and being judgmental
makes life miserable. That said, here are three ways to make oneself
increasingly judgmental and, as a consequence, increasingly miserable:
Make Assumptions
It is very difficult, if not impossible, to know all the
factors that have played into someone else’s actions. In order to be judgmental,
it is highly important to assume that you know more than you really do. That
is, assume that you do know all the
factors (even though it’s certain you don’t!), and therefore there is no excuse
for someone’s behavior. The only rational explanation? They are evil.
Assume also that you know people’s motives and intentions.
True, you have no idea what’s really going on inside someone else’s heart. But
to cultivate a judgmental attitude, you have to ignore your lack of insight. Act
like you can see the unseen, and then draw a picture of the worst motives you
can imagine.
Most actions are motivated by a variety of things, both good
and bad. To be judgmental, assume that the motives of others are purely bad.
Assume that other people intend to wrong you. This will make you quite judgmental
and miserable.
Use Totalizing Language
Rather than simply stating the truth about a particular
action (i.e. “John was very short with me in our conversation today”), use
totalizing language that extrapolates one action into all actions (i.e. “John
is always short with me, he never wants to talk”).
Someone who uses totalizing words like “always” and “never”
is not really telling the truth, but that’s the key to being judgmental. To
condemn people, you need to build a case against them. And to build a case, you
need to ignore evidence that contradicts your accusation. Hence, words
like “always” and “never” are very handy. If someone “always” does something
wrong or “never” does something right, then there’s literally nothing they can
do to escape your condemnation.
For anyone who’d like to have a judgmental (and miserable)
spirit, don’t confine yourself to the truth. Remember that your job is to build
a case against others and to justify your condemnation of them. A good
prosecutor doesn’t bring up evidence that may excuse the defendant. Be a good
prosecutor. Use totalizing language.
Label People
Labels take certain actions (i.e. “John was very short with
me in our conversation today”) and turn them into an assessment of one’s character
(i.e. “John is an a**hole”). Labels are very easy to come up with when you’re
already adept at using totalizing language (i.e. “John is always short with me, he never
wants to talk. Therefore, John is most certainly an a**hole”).
Labels blind oneself to reality and
help build a case for condemnation. Put simply, once you have placed a label on
someone, you’ll be very unlikely to notice things that contradict it. Or if you
do notice such things, you’ll be likely to interpret them according to your
preexisting label. For example, if John is most certainly an a**hole, then even
the kind things that he does will seem suspicious to you.
Labels are perhaps the finest tool of a judgmental spirit.
If you really want to be judgmental, use the actions of others to make negative
assessments of their character. Label people as “idiots” or “jerks” or, best of
all, “evil.” You will thereby feel completely justified in your hatred of them.
And your hatred, of course, will make you quite miserable.
Final Word
So there they are: Three ways to cultivate a judgmental mindset
and, in turn, make oneself miserable. There's just one last piece of advice for anyone who
wants to be judgmental. Namely, ignore the words of Jesus:
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you
pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you
get.” – Matthew 7:1-2
No comments:
Post a Comment